Widows FC seeks new members

But don’t worry; no football knowledge is required. In fact, the less the better

Football season is upon us, and we all know what that means girls. Party time without the hassle. So raise your glass and remember, no men means no worries. That’s why we’ve created the very apt and very official Widows FC.

There’s no need to despair at the upcoming season of fixtures. Oh no. Rejoice in the fact that you can now have some down time to enjoy the company of people that have no issues with discussing office politics or shades of grey. Grey is very in apparently.

 ‘Cocktails are for drinking, not for sticking in sausages.’

Join a club that caters for normal people; people that like drinking and eating, and having fun. Not people that shout at inanimate objects and curse at men that they’ve never even met. Sounds weird when you break it down like that, doesn’t it.

Yes we have rules. But they’re fun ones, like, ‘Cocktails are for drinking, not for sticking in sausages.’ And, ‘No talking about the offside rule. We all get it, we just don’t care.’

The spontaneous and random cheers that cause conversations to abruptly pause won’t happen here. Unless of course those new pair of shoes you’ve had your eye on went on sale, then that’s most definitely a cause for celebration.

No membership fee required and no need to buy kit in, how shall we say? Interesting colours. So sit back, relax, eat some food and drink some cocktails; it’s the only club worth supporting this season.

Get your game on whenever there’s a game on.